Welcome back to HER Haven, where we empower each other to set boundaries, own our worth, and navigate life’s little (and big) challenges with confidence. Today, we’re tackling a scenario that’s all too familiar for many of us: being asked to do everyone else’s work. Whether it’s taking notes in a meeting, organizing the office party, or picking up the slack for a coworker, it’s frustrating, exhausting, and often rooted in outdated gender stereotypes. Sound familiar? Don’t worry—we’ve got your back. Let’s talk about why this happens and how to handle it like the boss you are.


Why Does This Keep Happening?

Let’s be real: women are often expected to take on “office housework” or administrative tasks, even when it’s not part of their job description. This expectation is often tied to gender stereotypes that assume women are naturally more nurturing, organized, or willing to help. But here’s the thing: you’re not anyone’s secretary (unless, of course, you actually are—in which case, you’re a rockstar). It’s time to push back and reclaim your time and energy.


The Impact of Saying Yes Too Often

When you constantly say yes to tasks that aren’t your responsibility, it can lead to burnout, resentment, and even harm your career progression. You might find yourself so bogged down with other people’s work that you don’t have time to focus on your own goals and projects. Plus, it reinforces the idea that you’re the “go-to” person for tasks that no one else wants to do. Spoiler alert: that’s not your job.


How to Handle It Like a Pro

Ready to stop being the office doormat and start setting boundaries? Here’s your step-by-step guide to handling these requests with confidence and grace.


1. Pause Before You Respond

When someone asks you to take on a task that’s not your responsibility, don’t feel pressured to say yes right away. Take a moment to think about whether it’s something you want to do or should do. If the answer is no, it’s okay to decline.

2. Ask Questions

Sometimes, people don’t even realize they’re asking you to do their work. Turn the tables by asking questions like:

“Is this part of my job description?”
“Why are you asking me to do this?”
“Have you considered doing it yourself?”

This forces them to reflect on their request and gives you time to formulate your response.

3. Say No Politely but Firmly

You don’t have to be rude to set boundaries. Try:

“I’m swamped with my own work right now, so I won’t be able to help.”
“That’s not really my area of expertise, but I’m sure you can handle it.”
“I’d love to help, but I don’t have the capacity to take that on.”

Remember, “no” is a complete sentence.

4. Redirect the Request

If the task needs to be done but it’s not your responsibility, suggest someone else who might be better suited for it. For example:

“I think [Name] would be a better fit for this task.”
“Have you checked with [Team/Department]? They usually handle this.”

This shows you’re a team player without taking on the work yourself.

5. Set Clear Boundaries

If this is a recurring issue, it’s time to have a direct conversation. Try:

“I’ve noticed I’m often asked to take on tasks that aren’t part of my role. Moving forward, I’d like to focus on my own responsibilities.”
“I’m happy to help when I can, but I need to prioritize my own workload.”
Setting boundaries is not selfish—it’s necessary for your well-being and professional growth.

6. Document and Advocate for Yourself

If the requests continue despite your efforts, start documenting them. Keep a record of what you’re being asked to do and how it’s impacting your work. If necessary, bring it up with your manager or HR. Advocate for yourself and make it clear that you’re being unfairly burdened.

Why It’s Important to Push Back

Saying no to tasks that aren’t your responsibility isn’t just about protecting your time—it’s about challenging the stereotypes and expectations that hold women back in the workplace. By setting boundaries, you’re not only standing up for yourself but also paving the way for other women to do the same.

Final Thoughts: Your Time and Energy Are Precious

At HER Haven, we believe in the power of saying no. Your time, energy, and expertise are valuable—don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. The next time someone asks you to do their work, remember: you’re not their secretary, and you don’t owe them your labor.

So, let’s make a pact: no more saying yes out of obligation, no more taking on tasks that drain us, and definitely no more letting anyone treat us like the office errand runner. Your work matters, and so do you.

Have you dealt with this issue? How did you handle it? Share your stories and strategies in the comments below. Let’s lift each other up and create a workplace where everyone’s contributions are valued equally.

With love and solidarity,

​HER Haven 💕